How many times has someone told you to “get out of your comfort zone”? We’ve heard this phrase too many times before, but what does it actually mean?
In life, there will always be obstacles, especially when you least expect it. We will be faced with having hard conversations, we’ll have to make impossible decisions, and we’ll have to find strength when we feel like we have nothing to give. This is unavoidable. That’s why it’s crucial to learn to embrace discomfort; be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
We get it, it’s easier said than done. Luckily, there are strategies and ways to learn this skill! One way to embrace discomfort is to build resilience. We build resiliency and increased tolerance to uncomfortable situations by consistently – and intentionally – facing new obstacles, internal and external difficulties, and situations where things are unfamiliar, unpredictable, and different from what we’re used to.
If you always stay in your comfort zone and avoid situations where you might fail or be uncomfortable, then there is no way for you to grow. Think about some of the greatest accomplishments, where people achieved what was seemingly impossible. How would any of that have been possible if they had just run away whenever something got uncomfortable?
This is something that you can develop too, with practice and dedication. Like all difficult things, it will be challenging at first, but as you gain experience and learn from your mistakes, it will become easier.
Tips on How to Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
Know your why
Knowing your why is such an important part of your personal mission and the intentions behind your actions. You’ll hear this over and over again, especially on this blog. When you set out to do something new and challenging, knowing your why is crucial to your success rate.
We can’t state how important this is because if you don’t know your why, if you don’t believe in your mission or your sense of purpose, you will give up whenever things get difficult. Whether we’re conscious of it or not, we’re emotional beings who need a sense of purpose. Our why is our emotional connection to our mission, it’s our story.
So, before you take on something uncomfortable or challenging, make sure you have a clear mission statement and purpose as to why you’re pursuing this thing. Keep coming back to your why; it’s the fuel that will push you forward in your toughest times.
Choosing a growth mindset
“No matter what your current ability is, effort is what ignites that ability and turns it into accomplishment.” – Carol Dweck
When you believe that you can learn and grow, no matter the challenges, then you’ve created an essential foundation for heading out of your comfort zone. Talking to yourself with a growth mindset is so important in whether you make it or not. It’s not just about what you say to yourself but how you say it.
Talk to yourself with belief and conviction to grow rather than in a way that’s forcing you to do something. When you pressure or force yourself to do something, even if it’s a healthy habit, you are giving up control and taking away agency in the situation.
Instead, tell yourself why you’re doing this; again, always come back to your why and pair it with your growth mindset.
What to say: “I am choosing to go for a run this morning because I care about my health, both physically and mentally,”
What not to say: “I need to go work out because I have been eating too much and I will feel bad if I don’t go.”
Repeatedly encouraging yourself through a growth mindset allows you to envision what the possibilities are and what your potential could be, even if it’s something as simple as fitting into those jeans you love again.
Treat yourself with grace
We are our own worst critic. It’s time to change that.
Being kind to yourself is important, but it’s even more crucial when you are taking on a new challenge, something that makes you uncomfortable. During this time, you’ll have many internal battles, and negative self-talk may arise frequently. Your inner voice will do whatever it takes to get you to give up. This is when it’s most important to build mental resiliency.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you should ignore that voice. It doesn’t mean that you should tell yourself to “shut up” or toughen up. You might think that these phrases will harden you and get you to push through, but in actuality, this attitude represses how you’re truly feeling and makes you feel like what you’re feeling is wrong. That’s not what we want.
We want to acknowledge that inner critic, the negativity, and accept that “this is hard”. It’s only then that we can become our own ally and support system, offering words of encouragement and inspiration. Giving yourself grace means checking in with yourself regularly and having constant dialogue to accept, embrace, and acknowledge the range of feelings you may have during challenging pursuits.
Learn and adapt
The more you do difficult things, the easier it gets. That’s because our mind learns to adapt to that discomfort as we continue to activate those muscles. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable requires a great deal of adaptability.
All of life is about learning and adapting.
Think about all the crazy situations we’ve been in as a society, the most recent being the COVID pandemic. We had to learn to adapt to new conditions. Things never went back to the way they were, we just had to adapt to a new way of working, schooling, and living.
For many of us, it simply doesn’t work to just tell ourselves to embrace the unknown and expect ourselves to make that mental shift automatically. We must dive in, learn from our mistakes, adapt by improving our processes, and repeat – that is the practical way to train ourselves to embrace the unknown challenges that lie ahead
When we learn from past mistakes, we collect data. That data helps us to understand ourselves and we eventually become more inclined to embrace what lies ahead, the uncertainty. Repeating uncomfortable situations also forces your body and your mind to get used to them. Period.
Micro-sucks
The concept of “micro-sucks” comes from Andrew Huberman’s podcasts on increasing your willpower and tenacity. He’s a neuroscientist and podcaster we love to listen to and learn from. If you have a chance, check him out!
Micro-sucks is a life hack that you can use to train and build your mental endurance. Essentially, it’s pushing yourself to do something that sucks a little bit, but you still feel safe enough to do it. Think of it as a minor inconvenience but you’ll do it anyway.
This can look like doing 20 push-ups after a run, meditating for one more minute after your timer, or reading one more page when you feel like you’re about done.
Here is a brief transcript from Huberman’s podcast:
“Pick something that you don’t want to do; these are what I call in a very non-scientific way micro sucks. These things suck, but they suck a little bit. And they’re safe right, you have to pick things that are safe for you. But they suck enough that they require some effort, they require getting over some friction, engaging in something that you don’t reflexively want to do. So for instance, that might be one extra set at the end of a round of three to five sets of a given exercise. Or it could be 100 jumping jacks at the end of what you consider a hard run. It could be finishing out that language lesson and then deciding to do five minutes of sitting still and thinking about the material that you learned when you so desperately want to just jump on your phone.
Pick circumstances where the degree of resistance is very high, where the degree of impulse to do something else than the thing that you know you need to do is very high, and then start applying those on a regular basis.”
Simple formula for micro-sucks
“You want to do something – you resist doing it; that’s building up tenacity and willpower. You don’t really want to do something – you do it; that’s building up tenacity and willpower.
It’s about deliberate engagement in the behaviors that we least want to do in a given moment, or if you’re trying to build up willpower and tenacity to not engage in certain types of behaviors, it’s about our ability to suppress behavioral action.
Eustress vs distress
Before engaging in the micro-sucks strategy, it’s important to understand the difference between eustress and distress. Eustress is a kind of stress that encourages us to try a new hobby, learn new skills, and even step outside our comfort zone. It makes us feel good while we work toward our goals, go through significant life changes, or start new chapters in our lives. You see an intrinsic reward in adding this action.
In contrast, distress is a negative kind of stress that is harmful and can be debilitating, causing anxiety and fear. This takes away from your mental well-being, willpower, and tenacity.
“Micro-sucks” fall under the category of eustress.
Personal Experience with Micro-sucks
You might already have some experience with micro-sucks but don’t have the term for it. Here are some common experiences with micro-sucks that I’ve also personally experienced or have integrated into my daily life. Over time, the things that suck a little didn’t suck so much anymore.
Cold showers in the morning
- Increased energy and alertness
- Anxiety levels are lower; able to handle stress better
- Able to focus better with one task at a time
Running when I’m feeling low or tired (but not sleep-deprived)
- Improved mood, even if it is just by a little
- Increased energy and focus
- Increased resilience to follow through on tasks
- Motivation to maintain a healthy diet on that day
- Usually improves sleep quality
- A sense of accomplishment
Adding 30 push-ups after every run
- Increased resiliency
- Increased sense of accomplishment
- Builds physical strength
Adding a few more reps to your weightlifting routine
- Maintaining upper body strength, which is something I lose through cardio
- Maintaining core strength, which helps with my running
Turning off notifications on your phone for a specific period to minimize distractions
- Improved productivity and ability to fulfill my tasks
- Waste less time as a result of losing focus and trying to regain it
- Decreased stress and anxiety from getting distracted and sidetracked
Washing dishes right after cooking or eating
- A clean house improves my mental health
- Don’t have to work up the motivation to deal with it later
- Avoid being frustrated from having to deal with it later
Choosing a healthy snack or breakfast right after a workout
- Avoid having a sugar rush
- Increased energy throughout the day
- Replenishes fuel for the body
- Healthy recovery tool for the body
