Part One: The Catalysts of Running
“What’s happened’s happened. Which is an expression of faith in the mechanics of the world. It’s not an excuse to do nothing.”
In February 2023, I found myself embarking on a new chapter as I relocated from the U.S. to Taiwan. As I settled into my new apartment, the absence of a gym downstairs threw a curveball at my usual fitness routine, which meant I had to find a new way to workout. What seemed to be an obstacle made way for a new opportunity for a life-changing habit – running.
When I was considering which area to live in, choosing a quieter Taipei neighborhood stemmed from a simple desire – an urge for tranquility and greenery. This shift coincided with my growing awareness of the positive impact sunlight and nature can have on mental health. Fortunately, luck was on my side, as my new home happened to be within walking distance of a sprawling riverside park stretching over 5 kilometers.
Running emerged as the natural solution. At the crack of dawn, a vibrant hub of activity unfolded – runners, joggers, bikers, and seniors doing the “wax on, wax off” (tai chi). The vibrant atmosphere was a refreshing contrast to the rest of the world that was still awakening from its slumber.
At that point in my life, it had been less than a year since I broke free from a strong dependence on recreational substances. The preceding half-decade had been marred by substance abuse, resulting in mental breakdowns, memory lapses, prolonged bouts of depression, sleep deprivation, and a severely compromised diet. Despite not gaining weight (which fueled my continued use), I found myself in the worst physical and mental state of my life.
This entire chapter in my life is an intricate story, perhaps worthy of its own article. So for now, I’ll leave it at that, but the severity of the experience remains a significant element in my journey.
Up until this point, I always had a difficult time committing to a long-term exercise routine. I’ve lost count of how many times I jotted down “exercise three times a week” on my to-do list. My current streak for maintaining a weekly routine stands at two months (more like 5 weeks). Like many of us, I would start strong – new shoes, gym memberships – only to lose steam swiftly. Each pair of running shoes ended up becoming my comfy everyday shoes.
One perk of running outdoors was eliminating the need to commute to a gym to kickstart my workout. Let’s be real, I knew deep down that adding a commute to the mix would doom the habit in its infancy.
Reflecting on past attempts, I realized that my pattern of failures was rooted in a lack of genuine intention to prioritize my health. Setting a sincere intention and being honest with myself became the crucial first step.
Part Two: The Challenges of Running
“Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.”
Approaching my first run with zero preparation, I thought, “It’s running, what’s there to research? Do I need to research how to walk too?” With blind confidence, my only plan was to set a distance goal. Dismissing 2km as insufficient for my ego, I ambitiously aimed for 3km, ignoring the fact that my last 10-minute run was in 2012. My overconfidence and lack of readiness proved to be blind choices that I would inevitably pay for.
My initial run saw me struggling to breathe and battling intense cramps (courtesy of my heavy vaping habits). It was my body signaling that I had exceeded my limits. Fueled by stubborn pride, I pressed on, conquering the 3km without a single pause.
The day after, I began experiencing pain in my left knee with every step. I Initially dismissed it as regular soreness and applied ice, assuming it’d ease. But during my next run two days later, the pain skyrocketed, forcing me to stop in less than two minutes. It was a less-than-ideal start to my running journey.
I sought the guidance of my in-house running specialist, Jess, which I should’ve done before embarking on my first run to begin with. Jess shared valuable resources, from information about my injury to various home remedies and exercises, while stressing the immediate need for physiotherapy.
Reflecting on past patterns, neglecting physical injuries was a recurring theme. I would often give up on completing my treatments, which prevented me from making a full recovery. This time, however, I was determined to break the cycle. I attended physiotherapy three times a week for a month. I hit pause on running for two weeks, allowing my knee to recover. Following Jess’s recommended exercises and running plan became my roadmap to rebuild endurance and strength.
For week one of my running plan, I walked for 4 minutes, followed by a 1-minute run, repeating this cycle five times. Progressing into the next week, I extended the running intervals, walking for 4 minutes and running for 2, repeating five times. This pattern continued, increasing my running duration with each subsequent week.
However, whenever my knee pain resurfaced, I acted with precaution by downgrading one level to prevent further injury. This adjustment occurred more frequently than I would have liked, but it served as an important reminder to prioritize my body over pride. A humbling experience, its value appreciating over time.
Contemplating my journey now, I’m surprised by my sustained commitment after that injury. I’ve always doubted my abilities, especially my mental fortitude. I had anticipated that I would eventually make excuses and rationalize quitting, another familiar pattern. What I didn’t realize was that I had been building resilience during my substance abuse recovery.
There were days when the challenges felt insurmountable, creating a kind of hellish experience. However, in hindsight, all that suffering held meaning. Thankfully, in this case, it wasn’t suffering. Just some physical discomfort, a minor inconvenience.
My journey taught me vital lessons about balancing action and preparation, embracing humility, and never skipping steps. This awareness fueled my resolve to endure the effort of rehabbing my knee, committing stretches, and implementing a meticulous running plan.
Part Three: The Impact of Running
“You’re familiar with the phrase, ‘Man’s reach exceeds his grasp?’ It is a lie. Man’s grasp exceeds his nerve.”
Running has emerged as a profound force, sparking transformative changes in my life. I often refer to it as my “black swan” event, a term used in the financial world. This label is fitting because, much like a financial black swan event, its impact exceeded expectations, bringing monumental changes and far-reaching ripple effects. This stands in stark contrast to my relationship with recreational substances, a negative black swan, making running a remarkably positive turning point in my life.
This part is all about the steps I took to get to where I am now in my running journey. Looking back, I wouldn’t have imagined I’d called myself a runner, let alone embrace these new changes and routines. I share these strategies with the hope that they will help you start on whatever journey you’ve always wanted to embark on.
Adopting a plant-based diet
Running served as a catalyst in reconstructing my eating habits for a healthier lifestyle. It honed my ability to tune into my body’s signals and monitor its well-being. During my phase of substance abuse, being in a perpetual state of physical distress was normal. I had prolonged stretches of inadequate eating and convenience-driven fast-food reliance. Now, heightened awareness guides my food choices, with around 90% of meals prepared mindfully. Embracing this healthier diet has brought a novel experience – no longer plagued by post-meal fatigue or bloating.
This shift towards a healthier diet prompted my transition to a plant-based diet last September. I recognized my body’s sensitivity to certain foods, especially discomfort after consuming meat. Shifting to a plant-based diet allowed my body to thrive, provided I got enough protein. Of course, I’m not strict about being vegan. I’ll occasionally indulge on “cheat days,” whether it’s savoring a Burger King chicken sandwich (think Steven Yuen in “Beef”), enjoying sushi (there’s no way I’m only eating cucumber rolls), or dining out with friends.
Building my sleep routine
Running has become the cornerstone of my disciplined sleep routine, playing a pivotal role in optimizing both my performance and my mental health. I time my runs bi-weekly, which allows me to monitor my results. If I find myself grappling with poor sleep or feeling sleep-deprived, I consciously skip runs to prevent injuries, particularly attentive to the link between fatigue and my knee pain.
My pre-run preparations include another crucial rule: avoid snacking or indulging in sweets the night before. Consuming sweets the night before (something I rarely do in moderation) results in a noticeable slowdown in my run pace by 30 to 45 seconds. This meticulous attention to my sleep routine and pre-run habits has proven instrumental in enhancing my overall running performance.
Quitting vaping
Quitting nicotine vaping stands as a game-changer in my journey. Like adopting a plant-based diet, this shift occurred last September, and I haven’t looked back. While I still occasionally indulge during social events or parties, it’s a controlled exception confined to that specific night. Baby steps.
Living in Asia, where smoking and vaping are prevalent, quitting nicotine poses unique challenges amid the omnipresence of triggers. The sight of people vaping is almost inevitable, from the moment I step out of my apartment in bustling Kuala Lumpur. Two years ago, I would have relapsed at the mere sight of others indulging. However, the pivotal change lies in the fact that I now have something to strive for – a profound care for my health that was absent in my past.
The benefits of quitting became clear, notably in improving my running pace. This progress serves as a tangible reminder of the substantial gains from quitting vaping, impacting not only my overall well-being but also my running performance.
Essentially, I’ve replaced one addiction with another, shifting from vaping to running. Setting new benchmarks has become my greatest motivator, reinforcing my resolve to stay away from vaping. After a staggering 12 years of grappling with smoking and vaping nicotine, successfully breaking the cycle of repeated attempts to quit marks a monumental achievement in my pursuit of holistic well-being.
Nurturing my mental health
Upon completing a year of unwavering dedication to my running routine, it’s clear that my mental health stands as the greatest beneficiary. Those once-formidable waves of depression have notably subsided – both in frequency and intensity. When confronted with low moods, stress, or frustration, I prioritize mindfulness. Prioritizing my diet, staying committed to my running routine, and affording myself sufficient rest are now indispensable components of my non-negotiable self-care routine.
Every time I go for a run, I always end up improving my mental state, even if it’s subtle. While my depression will forever remain a part of me, my unwavering commitment to both my physical and mental well-being brings forth a newfound harmony. This dedication empowers me to coexist with my condition, navigating its complexities with resilience and determination.
Rewriting the script
In a significant departure from my history of failing to maintain a consistent routine, my running journey has rewritten the narrative. I began my running journey on February 3, 2023, which means I’ve surpassed the one-year milestone for the first time in my life. I’ve also completed my running plan and can confidently run for 30 minutes without interruption or pain.
Epilogue
“You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.”
The question now is – where do I go from here? Honestly, I don’t know…and I’m content with not knowing for now. My penchant for overplanning has often robbed me of the simple joy of starting, taking action, and enjoying the process.
Presently, I can run 5km nonstop, placing me just a quarter away from the coveted half-marathon milestone. Yet, there’s no rush. When the time comes, I’ll make sure to prepare thoroughly and put my best foot forward.
At this moment, my focus rests on savoring the journey, basking in what I’ve steadily constructed over a year. I’m content in relishing my current triumphs, having rewritten multiple facets of my life narrative – my physical health, my mental well-being, my habits, my character, and my history. This, right now, is my priority – an ongoing commitment to build and improve upon these facets.
For the first time in a long time (perhaps ever), I’m witnessing and celebrating my victories.
